A Rambling Introduction
Waymo is the greatest invention in the last 5,500 years. Sometimes I take a Waymo to downtown Austin just to do a roundtrip home. AC slammed at 60, windows down, seat reclined, music blaring. Its magical. Every Waymo you pass, if it has a rider, you’ll see them smiling ear to ear.
Something I missed most when living in New York was the car experience. No state of the art sound system or quality noise cancelling headphones can replace the joy of speeding down the road in a private metal cube blasting your favorite tunes. I’d suffer even more at work if I didn’t pull into the garage after 20 minutes of yelling lyrics to my favorite songs.
Waymo strips the driving experience down to the best parts. You still have a private metal cube that takes you where you want to go. You don’t have to worry about parking. You’re riding in modern luxury. The car is always clean. A computer will never automate the deescalation of your nervous system but when it handles a difficult left turn its close enough you’d win the argument in court.
My life is guided by music. Its a soundtrack to my life and a way I connect with friends and strangers. I don’t know how I would wake up or wind down without music. I wouldn’t dance as much. I would cry without hope. When I meet someone who doesn’t understand music as an ancient ritualistic happiness generator its a bit worrying but I don’t blame them.
Now, I can optimize my Waymo trip to provide sonic excellence for my journey downtown but its usually after exhausting the limited number of skips I get on the stations provided and the process of skipping results in missing out on a significant percentage of the sight seeing gifted to me by my robot chauffeur.
The Proposal
Pay me whatever. Overwork me. I don’t care.
I’ve spent a year building watchavideo.net which you can read about in the archives of jackcmac.com. The site exists to replicate the experience of 80s MTV. A time where you had people who cared showcasing videos that mattered. Video killed the radio star (or so they thought). The jockeys had a real purpose and responsibility, but everyone is a jockey now. Which is great.. sure.. but if you can’t snap out of the demonic San Franciscan techno capitalist trance you’re shrouded from the magnitude of the responsibility now placed upon you.
Waymo radio stations are great solely because it offers a masquerade of choice, an outcome of the hypnosis the algorithms have placed us in. When the gnomes in your computer get close to what you care about its fateful only because you had to slosh through arthritic scrolls of braindead garbage to reach that thing. A perfect algorithm will always be one that is manual.
If you’re not Waymo and you’re reading this and you think you’re better at coming up with ideas and you’re thinking,
“Well what if Waymo just offered bluetooth?”
That is idiotic. That’s too much freedom which would be abused.
“True True we actually do need Jackcmac don’t we?”
Yes, bro, obviously… anyways, I know this proposal is a little pointless without my resume so I will be going live Monday morning on watchavideo.net/the_future to showcase my abilities as a 22nd century disc jockey.
The future is now, Waymo, and if you want to beat out Robotaxi you’re going to need my help.
P.S. I’d offer you my email for contact but I don’t check that so just comment below. I’ll also spam every person I find on Linkedin who seems like they have any pull at the company.
P.P.S. I am dead serious. If you made a reality show about people who care about success in their job and the final was between someone performing urgent brain surgery and me jockeying the Waymo radio station the judges would end the competition early to hand me the trophy.
